Hey y’all! Just wanted to jump in and say hello (yet again)!
I’m Trish — she/her pronouns, full-time RVer, 9/11 military vet, divorcee, polyamorous, pansexual, kinky, nerdy, overly blunt at times, 2w3 on the enneagram scale, INFJ on the MBTI scale, horribly inept (and perhaps a bit lazy) cook, and UBER protective dog mama.
I travel around a bit, but I’ve been calling AZ and SoCal my home/s most recently. I’d guess I’m ’round about a year or so sober now, but I don’t do the day counting thing (it was counterproductive for me in the long run), which means I don’t have a number to throw up on the scoreboard (so if you don’t either, you’re in good company!).
I spent a good 20+ years drinking to excess prior to getting sober, so I’ve got lots of experience with f*cking up, lots of experience with day 1s and broken promises, and lots of experience with scary blackouts, drinking to fit in and be more of a “fun party girl,” and drinking to numb emotional pain.
I’m also a recovered bulimic and am currently working on applying a lot of the tools and principles I learned from sobriety on breaking free of my emotional eating patterns (which involves acknowledging and dealing with some unacknowledged past trauma… ugh… fun stuff y’all… but I’m doing it! which is empowering, really).
My journey has not been without its ups and downs or without struggle, so please don’t take the relatively lighthearted tone of this post to mean that I think I’ve got it all figured out.
It’s a process. An emotional one. A tough one. One of the toughest things I’ve ever done, really.
But this whole addiction experience, and everything I’ve learned along the way, everything I’ve gained while clawing my way out of the multiple abysses I’ve fallen into in my life — it’s all amazing, and a huge gift, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it for the world.
Maybe that doesn’t sound like it makes sense, on the surface of things. But it’s all a part of my history, and thus, a part of me. And if I didn’t have all of that in my past, then I wouldn’t be the same strong, knowledgeable woman I am now.
Building blocks, y’all.
And I love who I am now. Well. Most days. 🙂 Yeah, that’s a work-in-progress too.
Anyway. I’m kinda feeling like this, these days, more often than not, and it’s a kinda awesome feeling:
Thanks for sticking around to witness this journey of personal transformation. It’s been an honor to have you with me. Love you all!
For context on this post, and links to related journal entries from this particular piece of my life's journey, see My Sobriety Journey, Journaled.