Life Coaching: Is it BS?

Is coaching complete bullsh*t?

Let’s be honest; tons of people think that personal life coaching is complete bullsh*t. Some might even say coaching is all about someone trying to sell you some overpriced, over-hyped crap based on principles you could apply all by yourself if you really wanted to. Maybe you’ve heard some of the lines. Like: “Pfft, just coach yourself already, it’s easy!” Or: “Damn, you could go to school and learn to be your own coach for the price they charge!”

I get it. I used to be one of those people.

But think about all the things in your life that you’ve ever imagined, once upon a time, would be super cool for you to do or achieve. Why didn’t you ever get around to that stuff?

I mean, you could always tell yourself you didn’t REALLY want to do those things. But is that the truth, or are you pulling the wool over your own eyes? And just how many of those things do you think you could have achieved by now if you’d poured your heart and soul into the effort?

Use the schwartz!

Basically, I think of personal life coaching as kind of a self-improvement funnel-slash-reversible-vacuum, of sorts, helping you to muster, harness, and ultimately direct all of that precious life-giving heart and soul inside of you toward those things that you really want to achieve. And one major reason that coaching is so effective and valuable for so many people (and not complete BS) is because achieving big goals is not as easy as flipping a switch.

So why life coaching? Because life. Because people. Because sh*t happens. Yep, sh*t happens… even to me, you guys!

And we have to figure out a way to deal with all of that, to make it work for us, to love where we are in the moment no matter what crazy curveballs come our way… basically, to turn the sh*t into shinola, as they say.

(P.S. If you happened to check out that pic link above, that’s me on the front right side, sliding right into a firefighter’s waiting arms. Swoon. See? Sh*t into shinola!)

P.P.S. A sad 2021 update: It has come to my attention that the firefighter pic link referenced above (twice!) is broken — apparently due to the media outlet’s website having some issue, I’m not sure exactly why or how. I have attempted to contact them about getting it fixed (fingers crossed!), but in the meantime, here is a link to an ultra-low-quality, audio-free version of what is essentially the same scene, as it appeared that day, live on the News at 5! **gasp**

It’s kinda about embracing the suck…

But goals mean change. And change can be exciting, but it can also be scary, and it means embracing uncertainty, which is not always easy to do. It’s a lot easier for us to stay stagnant, tucked away in that little corner of our life that we’ve somehow molded ourselves into, where even if we’re not totally happy… we know what to expect.

The SUCK surrounding us is familiar. And living with the suck we KNOW right now is almost always less scary than diving into the potential suck of unknown adventures.

But here’s the kicker: Nothing in life is certain anyway. Unexpected things happen all the time. We control literally NOTHING about life, except how we react to it.

Uncertainty will shove its way into your face no matter how hard you fight it. So why play small? Why allow yourself to stay tucked away inside of that stale mold of familiar sucky-ness? Why not dream big, break free of that mold, and start redefining your life YOUR WAY? Why not dare to recapture some of those fierce desires that you used to have?

Remember what sets your soul on fire?

I’m betting there’s a fire in your belly about something, no matter how buried it might be at the moment, no matter how dusty and forgotten it might be. Remember? That thing. That thing that sets your soul on fire. That thing that you got soooo amped about way back when. That thing that you just instinctively KNEW could change your life for the better.

What happened to that thing?

Maybe you decided it was a pipe dream, not something a “responsible adult” would pursue. Maybe you even thought you weren’t the kind of person that deserved to have that brilliant life that you imagined.

Well, babes, I have a wake-up call for you.

You might not notice it yet, but scores of so-called “responsible adults” are even now sludging through their boring AF “responsible” lives, practically comatose to the abundance of possibilities around them, focused mindlessly on the brief respite from drudgery that the coming weekend promises (but rarely fully delivers on!).

And the kind of person who deserves that brilliant life that you imagined is, quite simply, the kind of person who can rise above the mindless drudgery long enough to imagine it.

Yes, this means YOU.

So dust off those dreams. It’s time to wake up to a beautiful new day.

Why I don’t want to work with you.

You’ll probably be happy to hear that this website is NOT about trying to sell you on my one-on-one personal life coaching services. Don’t get me wrong: A good coach is definitely a valuable resource, and I love coaching. Helping people makes my heart feel full and warms my soul in so many ways, but I think so many of us hear the words “life coach,” “business coach,” or “financial coach” and just automatically write off the idea of working with one.

For a million different reasons, too. Maybe it’s money. Maybe we have a sense of fierce and closely guarded independence. Maybe it’s the way we were raised. Maybe asking for help is hard for us. Or maybe we have this idea in our head that WE are not the “type of person” that this sort of thing will work for (imposter syndrome, anyone?).

So I want to make coaching more accessible. I want to help you explore what’s possible… to help you to maybe become a little more curious about what personal life coaching has to offer you… and ultimately to help you get the support you DESERVE, whenever you want to move yourself through a moment of major suck, of stuckness, or of indecision or insecurity or fear or I’m-not-ready-ness.

Because it’s awesome to have help with that stuff. God knows it helped me turn around more than a few moments of major suck in my life.

So what I’m saying is that, really, my goal here is to pass on the skills, tools, and tips that I’ve picked up along the way on my own journey — the skills, tools, and resources that have helped me to reach for the stars at those pivotal moments in my life where it really just felt like everything inside of me was screaming at me to shut down, hide away from the world, and pretend that I didn’t have any big, crazy dreams.

Learn to coach yourself, already.

The unspoken goal that I think probably every coach has for every client… is that the support given and the tools gained and the conversations had and the breakthroughs experienced… all of that stuff that coaching offers… will be soaked up and absorbed and integrated into your very being… that you will TAKE IT WITH YOU into the world, into the rest of your life… so that the next time X or Y or Z happens, you’ll draw on the resources that YOU now have with you and that you will ALWAYS have with you.

And then you can move through whatever suck that life throws at you… on your own. Powerful. Empowered. Totally badass.

That’s not to say that you can’t ever come back to your coach and talk it out (assuming you decide to make the leap and get an actual coach at some point, which I am still neither advocating for or against here). It’s kinda the same way we grow up as kids and move out of the nest and start making our own mistakes, and learning, and growing. But sometimes we still feel like coming back home to cry on a familiar shoulder over a heartache or two, or to get a bit of comforting maternal advice… even when we already know on some level what that advice is gonna be.

Because it’s just really nice to have that safe place to come back to.

But it’s also nice… no, not just nice, but essential… to reach the point where we don’t feel like we NEED that all the time.

And that’s what I’m getting at with this whole “coach yourself” spiel. Long story short (too late, I know): I embrace the term “personal life coaching” versus the typical “life coaching” that everyone else talks about, because, more than anything else, I want to leave you with a sense of empowerment.

I want to encourage you to gain the knowledge, skill, and practical experience to be your own coach. I believe we all have a potential kick-ass life coach living inside of us, and finding and strengthening that inner coach is one of the big keys to helping us achieve our goals.

BTW, being “not socially acceptable” rocks.

In a nutshell, empowerment is the impetus behind my current work — developing the online platform for my new offering, “Not Socially Acceptable: A Life Academy for Free Spirits and Innovators.”

And while, yes, it’s true that the all-new NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE ACADEMY is technically still in development, I’m freakin’ elated to announce that its launch is coming soon, y’all! Squeee!

Okay, calming down now. But you can read more about it HERE soon. So check back!

And if the Academy sounds like something you’re interested in, go on and hop on the official waitlist now for updates, AND for a very cool, very limited-time opportunity to get some of the Academy’s offerings at special introductory pricing!