F*ck. Stop telling me meditation is good for me already. Seriously. Meditation suuuuucks! It’s boring. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And damn it, there are SERIOUSLY about a million other things I’d rather be doing right now. And no, I don’t care if you just learned the greatest new technique for easy meditation online or in some class somewhere. Don’t tell me about it. Don’t wanna hear it. Nope. No, thank you. Move along. These are not the droids you’re looking for. I’ll find my self-care elsewhere, TYVM.
Is this you? Does this sound like your inner dialogue when it comes to meditation?
Are you ready to punch a wall the next time someone goes off on you about the “wonders” of meditation? Do you imagine getting a root canal would be less painful than trying to meditate for any length of time? Does the thought of sitting cross-legged and trying to focus on your breath make you want to gag? Have you tried all of the so-called “easy” meditation techniques without success, and STILL found yourself sitting in meditation classes grinding your teeth and watching the clock, or maybe even tried to follow along with some simple meditation online practices via videos or apps and gotten completely FED UP with the whole thing?
Sing it loud and proud, my friends!
Awesome! That’s very, very cool to hear. Because that means you ARE, in fact, the droids I’m looking for. I’m talking to YOU. Indeed, peeps, indeed!
In fact, if your meditation mantras typically end up sounding something along the lines of: “F*ck this f*cking bullsh*t, f*cking meditation, I can’t even!”, then I’m DEFINITELY talking to you (and you are totally singing the song of my people… isn’t it beautiful?).
Curse words f*cking rock!
And cursing is a GOOD thing for what we’re about to discuss, actually, so curse away! Curse words, used in the right context, are super powerful for creating major positive changes in our lives, because they tend to have a pattern-interrupt kind of effect on our brains, jolting us out of ingrained thought cycles and habits and allowing new learning to happen in a much easier, sneakier, and totally FUNNER (yes, that is totally a word I made up) way.
So let me get to the meat of my message, which is, in a nutshell:
CURSING + GUIDED MEDITATION = SOME NEXT-LEVEL, BREAKTHROUGH SH*T THAT MIGHT JUST CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
The new hotness: Pro-profanity meditation!
So let’s integrate some good old-fashioned SWEAR WORDS into our “easy” meditation routine, shall we? I know you’re wondering to yourself now, “Well, Trish, how the f*ck am I supposed to do that exactly, huh? Sit cross-legged on the floor, close my eyes, and just concentrate on cussing up a f*cking storm?”
Hmm. Actually, now that I think of it, that could be a super fun exercise too (and great for releasing stress, I’ll bet), but no, it’s not what I had in mind. The guided meditation portion of this equation is where the cursing comes in. It is a super-sneaky way to make meditation feel like NOT meditation and yet still reap all the awesome benefits of DOING meditation, and thus be kind to yourself and give yourself the self-care you deserve.
Sadly, it maaaaay be difficult at the present time to find a meditation studio or in-person meditation class with a facilitator willing and able to skillfully lob F-bombs right into the middle of the zen flow of the moment (ooh… and with that, a new business venture idea is born! pow!).
But the good news is, you can totally find this kind of thing in a bunch of meditation online videos out there right now. Because thank goodness, a few YouTube geniuses were ahead of the curve in this F-bomb meditation movement. (Sidenote: I’m actually considering making a video of my very own along these lines at some point in the future, because this stuff is just too f*cking good for me to NOT be dying to add to the available content. So keep an eye out on my YouTube channel for the precious f*cking gem that I’m sure that video will be.)
Curse-y McCurse-urton meditations: A playlist
But wait, there’s more good news! You don’t have to try to find all of these genius Curse-y McCurse-urton easy meditation online videos by yourself, because I’ve done a bit of research for you already and put together a playlist (conveniently accessible on my YouTube channel home page) for you, aptly named “F*cking Meditation, I Can’t Even!” to make it super easy to find.
Check it out. I like to chill out with these tracks playing in my headphones while I’m out in nature somewhere, like a park or a beach or somewhere where there aren’t a lot of people around.
Let’s get physical, physical ♫ ♪
But probably my favorite way EVER to listen to “F*cking Meditation, I Can’t Even!” is to get physical with it and turn it into moving meditation. Typically, I will do that by standing up and doing some Tai Chi-esque flowing movements that help me get more grounded and centered in my body while I’m listening and breathing.
Also… you don’t even need to KNOW Tai Chi to take advantage of this type of thing. You can f*cking make it up! Hells yeah! In the past, I’ve taught some of my coaching clients a technique that I call “PRISM,” which stands for Playful, Really Intentional, Super-Slow Movements. PRISM is basically about making up your own movement flow, similar to Tai Chi but completely no-rules, no-holds-barred, just stringing movements together in an intuitive way that feels good to you and tells a story in your head.
Practicing a moving meditation like this allows you to come home to being present in your body and being aware of what’s going on with it. Some people call this process of coming home to your body “re-embodying yourself.” Regardless of what you call it, I feel like it’s a great thing to practice, especially if you’re in recovery from addiction, because substance use is often employed as a defense mechanism for DISembodying ourselves so that we do not have to be fully aware of what is going on with ourselves.
(Note: If you are in active addiction or early recovery, or are dealing with medical or psychological issues, please heed the warnings in the TrishBell.com user agreement before taking any action based on anything you may read on this website.)
Meditation that f*cking WORKS
And doing some moving meditation WHILE listening to “F*cking Meditation, I Can’t Even!” will blow your mind! Well, it blows my mind anyway. And what I mean by that is that it makes me smile, and feel peaceful, and giggle, and breathe deep, and ALL that sh*t, all at the same time, kinda. Regardless of whether you add in the moving meditation piece or not, though, my deepest hope for you is that all of this will spark something inside of you that feeds your flame in the same kinda way. And maybe inspires a giggle or two, and even a feeling of excitement about diving into this stuff, instead of dread.
If it does that for you, well, my work here is done! Voila, self-care!
Because here’s something that they don’t teach you in all those studies about the many awesome benefits of meditation: the most effective kind of meditation.
The most effective kind of meditation… revealed!
Do you know what the most EFFECTIVE kind of meditation actually is? You might be surprised to hear this, but it’s got nothing to do with the meditation style you choose. And it’s not about whether you do meditation at an in-person class or do meditation online, or whether you use the latest “easy meditation” techniques or play the right newfangled music or binaural beats in the background.
The most effective kind of meditation is the kind of meditation that you actually DO. Consistently. Period.
It’s not the kind that you just TALK about doing, and it’s not the kind that you schedule on your calendar but never get around to (P.S. here’s how to get around to it, if you need it!), and it’s not the kind that you’ve read 10 books about but only tried once or twice and then pretty much gave up on after that (but damn, those books do look impressive on your bookshelf, right?).
I love you, and I want you to actually DO your f*cking meditation, babes.
It is my heartfelt hope that “F*cking Meditation, I Can’t Even!” helps you break through any sense of resistance, frustration, or boredom that might in the past have kept you from really making meditation a daily part of your life. Because consistency in practice — that’s where the magic happens. That’s where the brain starts to change. That’s where the benefits start to shower down upon you like little raindrops of awesomeness. I want that for you. I want that for everyone, truly.
So, anyway, if you’ve made it this far in reading, I’m thinking you must have more than a passing interest in giving this whole meditation thing a real try. So… please let me know what you think about this easy meditation online playlist I put together, and about PRISM too (I’m gonna try to remember to make a video demonstrating a bit of that soon), if you give them a go! I’d love to hear from you!